Money is the root of all evil... I have proof!!!

[Ford 1st MRB]

Okay so here's the story, be patient it's a long one.

I lost my wallet a few weeks ago, and in the usual course of actions when one loses ones wallet, I cancelled all my credit cards and ordered new ones. The following is a transcript, to the best of my memory of the phone call I placed to my Mastercard provider:

Me: = Me obviously

MC:= Mastercard

MC: Hello thank you for calling Royal Bank of Scotland, My name is Karen, how may I help you today?

Me: Yeah hi Karen, I just received my new card and there is an issue with it, I'd like to request a new one.

MC: Okay Mr. Ford what's the issue?

Me: Well, I'll start off by saying I'm not Satan, although my card apparently thinks I am.

MC: Excuse me?

Me: Do you have an email I can send you a picture on?

MC: Like a work email? (stupid fucking question)

Me: No your personal email so I can stalk you.

**Pause**

Me: I'm only kidding, just need a email that you can check immediately.

MC: Okay it's *************@gmail.com

Me: Okay sending this pic to you now.

Sent this image to her:

Me: Let me know when you get it.

MC: Got it, don't see any issue here Sir.

Me: Again, I'm not Satan, and I don't want a card with 666 on it.

MC: Mr. Ford, while I appreciate your dilemma, I can't replace your card at this time if there isn't an issue such as lost, stolen, or something along those lines...

Me: Okay so I have been a customer with your bank for 11 years, and you can't issue me a new card at my request, unless it is lost or stolen?

MC: That is correct Mr. Ford.

**Pause**

Me: I'd like to report a lost credit card.

MC: You can't report a lost card that is in your possession sir.

Me: I lost it.

MC: You just sent me a picture of it.

Me: I took that picture yesterday.

MC: Sir...

Me: Ma'am...

MC: Okay fine, I'll issue you a new card but I'll have to cancel the one you currently have since you "lost it".

Me: I didn't lose it, but I appreciate your help, have a nice day Karen.

MC: You too Mr. Ford.

[Gooderham 1st MRB]

Nice.

Ford, a real life troll.

[evo-lution ßÄЯ]

AAAAAAhahahahahaha thats freaking awesome nice Ford nice.

[Goodwin 1st MRB]

Singlehandedly one of the best real life phone calls I've ever seen.

AMAZING! Bravo!

[Brewer]

literally laughed my ass off.... literally. do you sit around all day and just think this shit up haha?

[Ford 1st MRB]

No, I'm just a natural smartass. That isn't the whole conversation, just the good part. I left out the whole me exchanging my information, waiting on hold for 25 minutes, which got my smartass button going, and the fact that she was pretty cool about the whole thing. She knew I was joking through most of it and kinda returned a jab here and there.

[Yamagata 1st MRB]

Only you could make a credit card/debit card customer service call hilarious.

[Dexter]

Brilliant, It gave me a good laugh! You should gotten her personal email and stalked her though. seemed dumb enough to give it to you