Jump to content

Canadian Warship Seizes Tanker

Dillon 1st MRB

By Dillon 1st MRB
in The Slope Chute

 Share

Recommended Posts

Dillon 1st MRB Forum Spammer

Dillon 1st MRB

Posted
Posted

CANADIAN WARSHIP SEIZES TANKER IN... WAIT...

CANADA HAS A WARSHIP?

Oh Right, and Switzerland Has Nuclear Weapons

Arabian Sea (SatireWire.com) — Canadian television reported Friday that a Canadian warship in the Arabian Sea had seized a tanker suspected of smuggling oil from Iraq, leading many to suspect that the report was a hoax.

The Halifax Class frigate Vancouver.

Honest.

"You're kidding, right? Canada has a warship?" asked U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld. "Like for war?

"Does Canada know?" he added.

"Nobody was more stunned than we were," said Kali Omari, first mate of the seized vessel. "We saw this frigate steaming toward us, and we were worried, but then we saw the maple leaf on the flag, and we thought, 'Oh, Canadians. What the hell do they want?'"

When an officer of the HMCS Vancouver announced that the tanker was about to be boarded, the crew of the detained ship was confused, said Omari, but their confusion quickly turned to anger when they saw what the Canadians sailors were carrying.

"They were armed. With guns," said Omari. "Canadians. With guns. And a warship. What is this world coming to?"

"They were pretty rude, too," Omari added. "They started asking us all sorts of questions, like 'Where did that oil come from?' But first we wanted to know who gave them the damn warship."

According to Canadian defense officials, the Vancouver is one of four frigates deployed in the region to assist in the U.S.-led Afghanistan conflict. The tanker was stopped, officials said, because its cargo of crude oil violated United Nations sanctions, which prohibit Iraq from selling oil unless in exchange for food and medicine.

The U.N. said the incident is already under investigation, and promised swift action against those found responsible for giving the Canadians guns. Initial findings indicate that the Vancouver crew may have been watching too many American television shows.

Copyright © 2002, SatireWire.

http://www.satirewire.com/news/feb02/warship.shtm

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Recent Posts

    • Fielding 1st MRB
      2nd Platoon Weekly Attendance

      By Fielding 1st MRB · Posted

      2nd Platoon Weekly Attendance   Week of 27APR2025   P = Present | E = Excused | A = Absent   Platoon Staff CWO. A. Pitteway - Present 1stSgt. J. Candy -  Present GySgt. A Yoder -  Present GySgt. R. Fielding - Present   1st Squad Squad leader:  Cpl. M. Noel - Excused Cpl. B. Grande -  Present Cpl. R. Smith -  Present Cpl. C. Keebler - Present Pfc. D. Moffat -  Present     2nd Squad Squad leader:  SSgt. S. Holquist - Excused Cpl. T. Scary -  Present Cpl. C. Marsh - Present Cpl. W. Swift - - Excused Pfc. M. Oake - Excused Pvt. R. Zera - Absent Pvt. J. Coelho - Present  
    • Yoder 1st MRB
      Ban Report :: Brother Bear

      By Yoder 1st MRB · Posted

      Name: Brother Bear   Steam I.D: STEAM_0:0:120956468   Duration of Ban: Permanent   Reasons for the Ban: Racist comments   Demo Provided?: N   Comments: Said the N word a couple of times
    • C. Smith 1st MRB
      [Accepted-Discord - HLL030] Enlistment Application Paul Smith

      By C. Smith 1st MRB · Posted

      Welcome to the 1st Marine Raider Battalion! Now that you have been accepted don't forget to: 1. Check in at the Recruit Depot 2. Read the Marine Raider Handbook (you are expected to know everything in it) 3. Change your steam friends Avatar 4. Download, install and log into Discord NOTE: Please be aware that you will not have access to the above links until an officer has given you full access to the forum. Access to the forum should be given to you within the next day.
    • P. Smith 1st MRB
      [Accepted-Discord - HLL030] Enlistment Application Paul Smith

      By P. Smith 1st MRB · Posted

      I've read and understood the rules 
    • C. Smith 1st MRB
      [Accepted-Discord - HLL030] Enlistment Application Paul Smith

      By C. Smith 1st MRB · Posted

      MARINE CORPS ENLISTMENT OFFICE Camp Pendleton, CA   RECRUITMENT LETTER     Hello Paul Smith, Thank you for taking interest in joining the 1st Marine Raider Battalion.   During your trial period the following will occur: Once accepted as a Recruit, you will remain as a Recruit for 2 weeks from the day of your acceptance until the next BCT Class is offered. During your time as a recruit, it is highly encouraged to play within the Public Server and join Discord with our other members. Upon acceptance, you will be contacted by one of our DIs when the next available BCT is scheduled via the appropriate Discord channel.   We have a BCT class every two weeks. Please keep an eye out for when the next one is made available once you've completed your time requirements!   Upon stating that you understand all the information here, an admin will change your forum name and login to be :   P. Smith 1st MRB   Take the time now to change your Steam and in-game name to:   Rec. P. Smith [1st MRB]     Please make sure to verify your forum account by checking your email. Also, please respond below with a reply showing that you have read and understand these rules. You cannot be fully accepted until you do so. We have a limit on the time to reply, if you do not do so within 48 hours, your application will be denied. Once you reply, you will be approved for your trial period unless otherwise posted.  
×
×
  • Create New...