Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

So, I have been reading some of the "Best of Craigslist" and been genuinely amused. What are the best stories from your city/town?

My favourite from beautiful Vancouver

"Road Rage"

So, driving home from work today I have some fuckwad tailing me, just banging on the horn. I look in my rear view and it is some dork in a BMW or Mercedes or some other overpriced piece of shit. I can see dude's veins bulging in his forehead and literally I can see the specks of saliva splashing off the windshield and he is LEAAAANNNNNING over the steering wheel yelling at me as if this was going to help me hear him better.

By the looks of him, he is a pretty big dude. So, unluckily for me, I have to stop at a light. At this point, my girlfriend is kind of freaking out. I am probably, 5-7 or 5-8 with my hair standing up and don't weigh much more than a buck fifty, maybe 60 after a big meal. Never been much of a fighter, didn't really have to. I have to say, it kind of freaked me out. So, of course Mr Testosterone has to get out of his car and confront me. Like I said, he looked big, and when he got beside me, unfortunately again for me, he was probably 6-2 and maybe 200-220. Dressed in a pretty sharp suit with no jacket and his tie loosened. Probably had a pretty bad day as he proceeded to call me everything but an english speaking white man. On and on, if I was to get out of the car he'd beat my ass blah blah blah. Finally he called me a little cocksucker and then he told my GF that I was a bitch. LOL. The old bitch card.

So, I continued to look straight ahead, I rolled my window down, maybe a 1/3, not quite half and asked him if he was having a bad day. Without warning, Road Rage Guy punches at me. Fucking longest light in the history of Vancouver right here...sadly for him, his big fucking mitt hit most of my window--shaking his hand he yelled for me to get out of the car--LOL, here is where it gets funny.

I am still looking straight over my steering wheel. He takes one step closer to the car to open it as the light changes. Again, sadly for this fucking meathead, I had already locked the door, still looking ahead, I lunge through my partially opened window, grab him by his tie and pull him towards my car, frantically I rolled up my window and hit the gas, dragging this fuckwad through the intersection--have you ever seen a cursing, swearing salesman do a sidestep at 15 KM/H? I am still kind of laughing, and of course my GF thinks it is hilarious--I am still a little pissed off that I didn't hit 30 and drag this fucking monkey through the streets of Vancouver.

So, if you were the dork that assaulted me, too bad you are a such dick head, but I sincerely hope that you have another tie and pair of dress shoes, those shoes have to be scuffed the fuck up. I do admire your agility at running beside my car doing cross overs. Your football training probably saved your life.

Posted

I am litterally laughing ! lol that is actually fucking funny. Just imagine: Seeing a big guy being dragged by a car, by his tie, holding on for dear life. HAHA! I love it. *thumbs up*

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Recent Posts

    • Cannon: I used probability to shoot you in that bush Candy. Candy: What is that "Bush Probability Focus?" Ucar: "Bush probability Focus?" Thats what I call sex. Everyone laughs.  
    • Welcome to the 1st Marine Raider Battalion! Now that you have been accepted don't forget to: 1. Check in at the Recruit Depot 2. Read the Marine Raider Handbook (you are expected to know everything in it) 3. Change your steam friends Avatar 4. Download, install and log into Discord NOTE: Please be aware that you will not have access to the above links until an officer has given you full access to the forum. Access to the forum should be given to you within the next day.
    • MARINE CORPS ENLISTMENT OFFICE Camp Pendleton, CA   RECRUITMENT LETTER     Hello F. Flobbs   Thank you for taking interest in joining the 1st Marine Raider Battalion. There are a few things you should know before I give you a date for Basic Combat Training (BCT). Firstly, you are restricted to the weapon class of Rifleman for the duration of your time as a Recruit. Secondly, any questions you have about our unit, alternate times for your BCT, or just rules in general, you should contact your drill instructors GySgt. R. Fielding, 1stSgt. J. Candy, CWO. A. Pitteway, and 2ndLt. R. Martinez.    BCT will be Held on a day communicated to you by a member of the Drill Instructor team.   Do not hesitate to reach out to our Drill Instructors for additional information. They can be reached through the Forum Private Messaging System most reliably (click the envelope next to their name above).   Upon stating that you understand all the information here, an admin will change your forum name and login to be:   Flobbs 1st MRB   Take the time now to change your Steam and in-game name to:   Rec. F. Flobbs [1st MRB]   Please make sure to verify your forum account by checking your email. Also, please respond below with a reply showing that you have read and understand these rules and restrictions set. You cannot be fully accepted until you do so. We have a limit on the time to reply, if you do not do so within 48 hours, your application will be denied. Once you reply, you will be approved for your BCT unless otherwise posted.  
    • 1. Name you wish to use and Age:, (Our unit uses realistic names, this does not have to be your real name) Flobbs 2. Platform Type, Steam 3. Steam ID (Use 17 Digit SteamID 64 / PC Game Pass Account Username):, 76561198031905030 4. Do you have a microphone?, Yes 5. Which game title are you applying for?, Day of Defeat: Source 6. If you've selected Hell Let Loose, do you understand that this game is currently not cross platform capable and only PC players currently may apply? ( Steam or PC Game Pass), Yes 7. Why do you wish to join the 1st Marine Raiders?, Fielding is making me. no, known everyone for a while 8. Did any of our current members play a part in you enlisting? If so, who? If none, how did you learn about us:, lots, but I suppose Fielding 9. This unit offers more than just a place to play games with each other, do you have any online skills you think would be useful?, several. Ran a large 300 person DOD group back in my days. Ran a few for other games, Ran one for HLL. Developed software, plugins, websites, .... just ask 10. Do you have any Leadership experience that you think will be helpful?, yes 11. Have you ever been in a realism unit before, and if so, which unit was it?, no 12. By posting this Enlistment form, I acknowledge the instructions completely, declare that I am 16 years old or older, and agree that I have and will follow server and unit rules maturely and respectfully or face immediate rejection., Yes Submission stats UserId: 112220260907614208 Username: flobbs User: @Flobbs™ Duration: 363s Joined guild 3 years ago
×
×
  • Create New...