Know When to Reach Out (Warning: Heavy Feels)

[McKenzie 1st MRB]

Hello 1st MRB, 

I know some of you may know me, many of you may not. I'm McKenzie, been with the MRB a long time (retired once, then came back). I reenlisted last year, and then some things kind of went south for me, and I ghosted. 

First, let me say, to all those I know and who I ghosted on, I'm sorry. 

For those of who you don't really know me, I joined the MRB originally on Thanksgiving of 2009, 7 years ago. I was heavily involved for a long time, during my time with the USMC. I was stationed and became fast friends and eventually enlisted with Capt. McDowell. I was involved, all the way up to, and through my deployment to Afghanistan in 2011, and then kind of fell off. I had a lot of shit going on, between personal life and dealing with shit from deployment, that while I hung around, I kind of was a non entity. I felt lost, and alone, and started drinking a lot. 

This wasn't made any better when I got out of the Corps in 2013, and started going to school. I was pretty heavily drunk all the time that I wasn't either at school or headed to work, so days off were bad. It got to the point that my wife almost left me in the middle of 2014, so I started to clean my shit up. I stopped cold turkey, thinking I was ok, and for a while, things were great. 

I rejoined the 1st MRB after retiring, reenlisting in July of last year. It was shortly after I reenlisted however, that I found out that one of my good friends from my time in the Corps shot himself in the head and killed himself, another attempted suicide by overdose, and a third was in a coma from a bad fall down a flight of stairs and they still aren't sure if he'll ever walk again. I kind of lost my mind there for a while, and went back to my old ways. I was able to hide it from friends and family, and I started to spiral. It started bringing up past bad memories, and it got out of hand, especially my drinking.

I am fortunate that my wife was there with me during this time, as she was pretty much the one thing that brought me out of a tail spin. She got me back into counseling, made sure I finished my degree, got me into a treatment program and turned my shit around. I owe a lot to her. I also owe everyone here involved with my return an apology for my ghosting. I should have said something, but I always felt too ashamed to say anything. 

My main point with this post is this, over all: If you ever need help with anything, or you feel that you are in crisis, please reach out. I know a lot of you may not know who I am, and probably have no reason to trust me, but I just want to make myself available to anyone who might need a hand or an ear. If you think things are going sideways, and you need someone to talk to, let me know. I don't sleep much, and I get up early for work, so I am always kind of hanging around. 

This might be a better topic for the Morale Office, I don't know, but I just wanted to post it where a lot of folks could see it. I am glad to be back, despite my long absence, and I hope to see you all in the server soon. 


*Salute* 

SSgt C. McKenzie
 

[Reis 1st MRB]

Glad everything worked out for you McKenzie, and welcome back!